Wondering if your healing work is actually making a difference?

While trauma healing isn’t a straight line forward, there are clear signs of progress we might notice along the way.

From emotional regulation to better career decisions, here are 29 signs you’re moving in the right direction (even if it doesn’t always feel that way).

  1. You’re less emotionally reactive in your work, relationships, and life.

    Things that caused you to withdraw or lash out before don’t affect you much, if at all any more. You’re less reactive to triggers, and able to reason with yourself to stay calm.

  2. You can talk/think about past experiences without feeling as overwhelmed.

    You might start viewing past traumas through a more objective lens. Maybe if they made you anxious, sad, or angry in the past, you no longer have such a strong emotional response.

  3. You can more easily control what you’re feeling (and what you do with it).

    In the middle of a high stress situation, you’re more cool-headed. You may be more accepting of how you’re feeling, recognizing that it’s okay, and you might be able to reason with yourself to transition from the discomfort to a more comfortable emotion.

  4. You feel more rational and objective, and less driven by your emotions.

    In your business and your relationships, you may be able to separate from the experience so you don’t get as worked up.

  5. You can control your behavior more easily.

    And since you can separate from the experience and avoid getting too upset, you’re better able to control how you respond to your feelings, too. You may start to feel less ruled by your feelings, simply starting to be able to use them as a guide FOR what to do next.

  6. You can motivate yourself more easily, and for longer periods of time.

    Since you have better control over your emotions and behavior, motivating yourself to work on tough projects is not as hard. Even the days when you don’t feel like getting started, you do… because you’re able to think more about your long-term goals, and put your here-and-now feelings into perspective.

  7. You don’t avoid situations or withdraw as often. (BYE, procrastination!)

    You realize that you’re not going to want to do everything you know you need to do. But you’re less likely to avoid it now, just going ahead and getting it done in order to keep constructing your dream life. You’re less likely to shy away from interacting with people, from your loved ones and business partners, because you feel more like you can handle the situations that come up.

  8. You’re better able to recognize how you’re feeling physically.

    You more easily notice those sweaty palms, shaky knees, that warm neck, the frowning, the indigestion… or the (happy) butterflies, the warm face, or whatever your physical signs are that let you know what emotion you’re feeling.

  9. You’re better able to recognize when and where you’re holding tension… to possibly reduce chronic pain.

    For me, the first sign I was becoming more aware of my physical sensations was that I started to notice the tension I was holding in my body: specifically, my hips and glutes, shoulders, and the back of my neck.
    Not coincidentally, these are the exact areas I experience the most pain.
    Now throughout the day, I find myself automatically releasing the tension there, particularly if I feel pain, and it reduces (or stops) it right away.

  10. You’re better able to recognize how you’re feeling emotionally.

    Because you’re learning more about how your emotions feel as physical sensations, you don’t have to think as long or as hard when someone asks you how you’re feeling (and really means it!).

  11. You’re making better business (and life) decisions.

    Since you’re able to recognize your feelings easier and faster, you’re learning to use them as your internal GPS to improve the quality of your life.

  12. You’re more introspective.

    You’ve started evaluating how your thoughts are shaping your views on the world, and whether they’re harming or helping you. You’re also thinking about whether your daily actions are moving you closer or further from your goals.

  13. You’re forming deeper relationships with others.

    Because you’re in a more regulated, relaxed body, and more in touch with your inner self, you have more positivity to offer others, and can connect with people better.

  14. You’re more empathetic and compassionate toward others.

    You’re thinking more about how your actions affect others, for better or for worse. Not only are you more in-tune with your own feelings, but also the feelings of others. So you’re better able to “read” how people are feeling, whether they say it or not.

  15. You’re better able to ask for help.

    You recognize and accept that you’ll get there faster if you accept help from others, and you’re even okay with asking for it sometimes. You realize that it doesn’t mean you’re “weak” or “inadequate” if you accept the help that people have been longing to give you.

  16. You don’t take other people’s boundaries or “no’s” as rejections or personal affronts.

    Whether in business or personal life, you can view “no’s” with a more level head. You realize that everyone is navigating their own personal challenges (or traumas), and that a “no” just means they’re not ready or don’t want what you’ve offered. You realize that it’s not YOU they’re rejecting, and you’re learning not to take it personally.

  17. You don’t judge yourself as harshly.

    You let yourself make “mistakes,” and you recognize them as learning experiences that get you closer to what you were shooting for. You start to view any “missteps” as simply part of your growing process, and you use what you learn to move closer to the mark on the next try.

  18. You rebound quicker and are less impacted by stress.

    There IS a “next try” these days, whenever you don’t meet your goal the very first time. You don’t require “instant success” from yourself, and are realizing how unfair and unrealistic that is. You have more patience with your growth process.

  19. You don’t judge others as harshly.

    You realize that people are dealing with their own “stuff” … and also that they’re not judging YOU as harshly as you previously thought they were. You also recognize that, whenever they are actually judging, that isn’t your problem to solve. It’s something people need to work out within themselves—without your help!

  20. You actually like (love?) yourself a lot more, and are more patient with yourself.

    You accept and appreciate that you’re a work in progress, and you’re enjoying seeing yourself grow and change. You realize that there’s no such thing as perfection, and you’ve stopped expecting it of yourself so much.

  21. You can speak up for yourself more easily.

    Because you’re calmer, more in touch with yourself, and feeling more secure, it’s easier for you to stand up for yourself. You like yourself more and are feeling more valuable as a global citizen, and you realize that you deserve fair, respectful treatment just like everyone else!

  22. You no longer view yourself as “broken” or “flawed.”

    You see that the emotions and behaviors you’d been having so much were natural reactions to the state your body was in, and to your environment.

  23. You’re more careful about how you treat your body.

    Because you know that you function better when your internal and external environments are peaceful, you’re more intentional about keeping a “clean house.” You may be exercising more, eating better, reducing the negative stress around you, and just taking better overall care of your health.

  24. You feel less ashamed of your experiences.

    You realize more than ever that MOST humans on Earth have had traumatic childhood experiences… even if these things are normalized and swept under the rug by society and media. So you realize that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s all a part of life.

  25. You don’t blame yourself as much for what happened to or around you.

    You realize that it was the adults’ responsibility to protect you when you were younger, and help you feel safe. But you also understand that they weren’t always able to, due to their own past history. You’re able to start releasing the unfair expectations you had about how you “should have done better for yourself” when you were at your most vulnerable. And you’re treating yourself with more kindness and compassion.

  26. You start feeling strong emotions about things you didn’t even know you cared about.

    As you heal from old wounds, you start being able to release pent-up emotions your body had stored that were making you feel sick and down. If you didn’t have any emotional response at the time, maybe you experience it now as you finally let it go.

  27. You’re recalling past memories you’d completely forgotten about.

    As you process and release old emotions, some of the memories your brain suppressed to protect you in the past may start to resurface… so you can process those too, now that you’re feeling better.

  28. You’re more willing to take risks, and aren’t as frazzled when you do.

    You realize that you don’t get such intense feelings of fear and anxiety in situations that used to terrify you. As a result, you’re actually SEEKING OUT ways to grow, and challenging yourself in new ways!

  29. You’re having weird or (newly) vivid dreams.

    If you never remember your dreams, maybe you’ve started remembering some now. They might be scary, as you release and process old wounds and emotions. Or they might be joyous and exciting, as you begin to reach new heights in your business and life!

The Bottom Line

The healing journey often surprises us. Sometimes we’re moving forward without even realizing it. Other times, we feel stuck despite doing everything “right.”

That’s because healing happens in layers: Just like peeling an onion, each layer of healing offers new insights and opportunities for growth.

It’s really important to have the right support as you navigate these changes. Whether you’re just starting out or well along your path, we can support you efficiently, and with compassion. We offer gentle ways to strengthen these positive shifts without having to rehash tough experiences.