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You are not broken. You are not flawed.

Before I share how to heal from childhood trauma without it taking years to see significant change, and without reliving (or even discussing) old wounds…

I want you to know that, despite how you may have felt (or been stigmatized) until now, you are NOT broken. You are NOT flawed.

Your body is working the way it’s supposed to under the conditions it’s exposed to.

More on that shortly.

This guide can help you further your healing enough to create the calm power and internal fearlessness you need to finally break through stubborn blocks and grow your business and life, On Purpose.

But first, let’s agree on something:

Part of the reason I’m here is to normalize traumatic experiences. Because they ARE a part of the normal human experience. (Hello, “social distancing,” divorce, emotional neglect, and natural disaster… et al.)

In fact, 2/3rds of all humans experienced at least one before the age of 18. That ratio rises markedly when considering marginalized communities like African Americans, American Indians, LGBTQ, Latinx… and women, to give a few examples.

The point? We are not “different,” we are not strange, and we are not “special cases.”

Our experiences are not our handicap. So I won’t walk on eggshells when I write to you, just as I don’t expect that when you interact with me.

And dare I say we can actually have fun at times, as we talk about becoming more healed, healthier humans?

We NEED fun. We NEED positivity. We NEED uplifting. Why? Because they feel friggin’ AMAZING. Obviously. 😉❤

What we don’t need are eggshells, pity, or wallowing. Those tend to feel not-so-hot.

One more thing:

Since you’re here for help on how to heal from childhood trauma, you’re clearly an adult who has filed your experiences away at least enough to be able to actively seek out healing, and to function reasonably well in your daily life.

And you can learn about trauma healing with some measure of excitement and hope.


So let’s talk about how to heal from trauma experienced in childhood.

Why this isn’t your grandma’s trauma healing guide

Grandmas are amazing. Or at least… I think that they are, mostly from other people’s warm stories of nostalgia. I don’t remember ever even meeting one of mine. And the other, I only knew for a very short while when I was really young.

That grandma, I remember her being subjected to many things under the umbrella of “treatment” that didn’t end up serving her well in the end.

Labeled (rightly or not) and stigmatized as a paranoid schizophrenic, she was offered medication to “manage” this “condition.” Meds which she hated, of course, as they stole her light, her laughter, and her love, leaving her feeling like a lazy lump who could do nothing but snooze.

That’s a downer.

My grandma had numerous other health and wellness challenges. And it’s unfortunate that it occurred to none of her slew of Western medical providers that, well, gee … perhaps her health in other areas affected her mental-emotional health?

Something at least to consider?

Because how can one have an unwell body, but a fit and healthy mind?

So when I say this isn’t your grandma’s trauma healing guide, we’re not talking at all about synthetic prescription drugs whose intended function is actually to suppress your normal bodily functions … or to put others into overdrive … in order to cover up the symptoms of an underlying problem and put you under “management” for a short time.

We’re also not talking about cutting out pieces of you that you were born with, which perform important physiological functions.

At Energetic Harmony℠, we’re talking—always—about grappling to get to the ROOT CAUSE of said concern(s).

To that end, the healing approach in this guide is based on newer, smarter research, and countless user experiences, which take into account the important FACT that the human body is a complex and beautiful “machine” with systems that are all interconnected.

So we can’t look at healing from emotional trauma by looking only at “the emotions,” which most people might suppose means looking at “the mind.”

No, we must remember and embrace that “the mind” is only one part of the human. And when the mind is unwell, the causative factors of that state of unwellness don’t all stop in or within the mind.

TLDR: In our quest to “heal” the mind and the emotions, we must honor the fact that mind and body are interconnected.

5 ways this healing approach better respects YOU as an integrated human.


As you’re seeking help healing from childhood trauma specifically, the presumption is that you’ve had multiple, repeated experiences. For that reason, this guide is tailored specifically toward those with a history of trauma, as opposed to a singular event.


You’ll learn to change your mind THRU your body, *in order to* change your business and life. You’ll also learn why that distinction is very important in healing from complex trauma.


You’ll discover how to accelerate mental-emotional healing, growth, and self development gently, without reliving painful experiences or reopening old wounds.


You’ll be empowered by science that will normalize your experiences and behaviors, proving you’re not “broken” or flawed.


You’ll learn concrete ACTIONS you can incorporate into your healing work, staying away from fluffy, painfully-obvious advice like to “replace bad habits with good ones” or to “take time to yourself” in order to heal.

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But why this “different” approach?

Well, I’m not a proponent of drugs, surgery, other invasive strategies, or having to be in talk therapy for years just to stay sane.

This guide is based on what has worked and is working for me to overcome my disabling fear of rejection, on what has worked and is working for my own clients, on what some of the latest neuroscience research says, as well as on the thousands of third-party stories that support the tools we’ll cover.

I’m A HEALING HUMAN, just like you, with an A.C.E. score of 10+ out of 10(!), who was tired of the rollercoaster of life, relationships, and business, who took her healing into her own holistic hands and figured out a way to finally make some true PROGRESS, so that I’m able to put myself out there in ways I never have before, and build the life I’ve wanted for decades.

I suffered, in the most literal sense, with C-PTSD symptoms for most of my life without realizing that was ever the problem. Thinking PTSD was for veterans of war only, I had zero idea what “C”-PTSD was, or that it was even a thing.

As such, I couldn’t figure out just why the hell I was unable to level my businesses up like I longed to do, despite the coaching, the books, the workshops, the therapy, the classes, and the programs… to reach the heights I’d dreamt of. (To know more, read my story here.)

Even still, in just a few months, and using the exact healing methodology described, I’ve been able to not only heal enough to finally START GROWING AGAIN (in business, and in life), but I’ve also been able to show others with complex trauma histories how to heal and grow too, in ways they never thought possible.

I attribute a lot of that to my compulsion to understand how something everything works… and WHY. As long as I can remember, it’s never been enough for me to be given “a strategy.”

It’s got to make logical sense (as much as possible, anyway), so I can understand the mechanics of exactly how it can help me.

Color me nerdy. 🤓

With that, let’s go on to educate ourselves on the impacts of childhood trauma, so that we know how to counteract them in order to heal.

The Physical & Emotional Impacts of Childhood Trauma

There are many physiological impacts of chronic trauma. When experienced before Age 18, it actually modifies the development of our growing brain and body.

Nadine Burke Harris, M.D., the first Surgeon General of California, explains that ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) change the brain, the developing hormonal system, the immune system, and even the way our DNA is read and transcribed.

So if trauma has been scientifically proven to have long-standing physical impacts… surely it has emotional impacts as well.


Note: Those impacts are beyond the scope of this article. To understand the basics, please see the following YouTube playlist, “Why Can’t I Perform?” Basic Brain Function for Entrepreneurs. (The playlist is relevant to the brains of all humans; entrepreneurs are just my primary audience. ♥)

The point is, science tells us that trauma physically changes the brain in the following ways:

  • the amygdala (fear center) is overactive [video]
  • the cingulate (self-regulation center) is underactive [video]
  • the prefrontal cortex (thinking center) is underactive [video]
  • the hippocampus (memory center) is underactive [video]
  • the insula (interoception center) is dysregulated [video]

And continued exposure to trauma can shrink the hippocampus and the cingulate in size.

When we consider that data, we understand that our healing modalities should be targeted at building these areas back up, or strengthening them.


We can’t just go about healing all willy-nilly and expect long-term, measurable change. We have to be a bit strategic in our efforts to avoid exhausting ourselves, and spinning our wheels with minimal progress.

So that’s exactly what we’ll do here.

5 Ways Childhood Trauma Changes the Brain, Body, & Behavior

I know that you’re here for healing help, and we’re getting there.

But it’s important that we understand how our physiology has been changed SO THAT the healing methodology makes sense… and SO THAT we understand why other things we’ve tried haven’t brought the change we were looking for.

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1. We lose touch with our feelings (both physical & emotional).

Consider this:

The trauma-affected human often grew up hyper aware of her (external) environment.


We had to force an external focus in order to keep ourselves as safe and as comfortable as we could.

For instance, consider the case of an over-critical parent who doesn’t show “love” but only “approval” (emotional neglect). The child’s learned behavior is to constantly, perhaps obsessively, seek the approval of others.

“Approval” is all she learns to expect, in the absence of love.

So if I’m constantly trying to “perform” to win the attention and/or approval of my parent, my focus is always external—on that parent.

And I learn to depend on that stimulus, the approval, in order to feel good or to get positive attention.

At the same time, I unlearn how to pay attention to what I want, and to care for my own needs. Remember, my parent isn’t focused on that. My parent is only focused on what (s)he wants, what makes him/her happy, and what keeps or makes him/her comfortable.

They’re not focused on what makes me happy or comfortable.

So I learn that in order to feel some semblance of happiness or comfort, I have to focus my attention on my external environment—the others.

And I “have to” ignore what I feel, because I’m subconsciously (or even consciously, in some environments) taught that my feelings are less important than their feelings.

This belief becomes my pattern. And as I become an adult, it manifests in my life in various ways. But even more importantly, my body has also adapted—it’s learned that, in order to gain some soothing and comfort, it must be focused on the external environment.

Because focusing on the internal environment in the past has proven either futile or outright dangerous.

So doesn’t it make sense, then, that a crucial aspect of healing must be to “recalibrate”—to get back in touch with what we’re feeling inside, both emotionally and physically?

2. We’re unable to manage our feelings well, so we withdraw or lash out.

Remember, due to our trauma history, now we cannot easily identify how we’re feeling … or how intensely we’re feeling it … until, perhaps, it’s too late.

If that’s the case, then how can we “regulate” or change how we’re feeling?

But this is exactly what business coaches innocently expect. (They don’t know any better; the majority don’t know quite enough about how the mind and body work.)

This is what business mindset programs expect.

This is what our significant others, family, friends, all expect. (They don’t know any better. Many of them have trauma too, or at the very least, don’t know that you have, or haven’t learned how to work with ours.)

This is even what our therapists often expect—once they’ve shown us how our feelings or ways of behaving are “A Problem.”

But again, I ask you … how can we regulate how we’re feeling if we don’t FIRST KNOW that we’re feeling it? Because we’re hyper aware of our external environment, and scarcely aware of what’s going on inside?

This is a major revelation. Please take a moment to let that sink in.

Think about your past experiences, maybe things you’re not proud of, and others you wish you’d done differently in business. Or in life. And extend yourself some grace now.

Because before we can expect ourselves to be able to regulate how we’re feeling, we have to first KNOW that we’re feeling it. And we have to learn to recognize the signs that a certain feeling is coming, or intensifying.

Doesn’t this make the most sense?

So as an entrepreneur, what does it mean to be able to “regulate” our emotions? Well, as business owners, we need to be able to:

  • motivate ourselves to do the work
  • remind ourselves that our fears are unfounded… so we don’t hold ourselves back
  • remember and believe that fear of the unknown is normal… so we keep taking risks to grow
  • keep ourselves from blowing up at team members or clients who annoy or disrespect us
  • etc.

And when we can’t self-regulate in stressful situations (whether internally or externally caused), we end up lashing out or withdrawing.

Those “response extremes” are our body’s natural, in-built attempts to avoid or mitigate that stress. And we cannot be productive or growth-oriented in either state.

3. We’re outside the frame of mind to be introspective, rational, or discerning.

Chronic or repeated instances of childhood trauma have put our brains and bodies into survival mode. “Survival mode” isn’t just a coined phrase; it’s your body’s actual physiological response to stress.

Why is this important?

The amygdala (your brain’s “fear center”) is responsible for activating the stress response when we’re under duress. Its intention is to ensure we’re prepped to survive what’s coming next, by way of fighting the threat, running from it, or using other mitigating strategies.

When the body and brain are in survival mode, all non-essential functions are severely suppressed.

For example:

If I’m in a life or death barroom brawl, I am not thinking about how what I said to my business partner the other day led to the dissolution of our relationship. 😉

Clearly, all of my faculties are necessarily and intensely concentrated on… not perishing. Or becoming severely injured.

The problem is that, for humans whose stress response systems have been repeatedly activated in childhood, these systems can get “stuck” in an “always on” state. Or, we can simply become far more sensitive to stress triggers.

This means that, as trauma-affected adults who just happen to now be entrepreneurs… we’re hyper-reactive to stress. And our ability to be introspective and rational are severely impacted.

A body trying to survive cannot be consistently “discerning.”

So what does this translate into, in the real world?

  • inability to make sound business decisions
  • inability to make definitive decisions at all
  • inability to consider the big picture or stay focused on longer-term goals
  • making decisions focused on short-term comfort, that sabotage long-term growth
  • getting too caught up in the little details of today’s to-dos, and delaying (or undercutting) ability to grow
  • being too afraid of “putting ourselves out there” to promote or build partnerships
  • etc.

And remember, once again, we cannot be introspective about feelings and an internal state that we don’t first understand. Our ability to understand our internal state is severely hampered by our history of adverse childhood experiences.